Can we change our Destiny?

Many have wondered over the age old question: Can we change our destiny, or are we confined to a pre-destined future. Even the question itself arouses feelings of trepidation in some. For many, it can be very difficult to accept that they are not in complete control of their future. While others want very much to believe that they must have a greater purpose in life that will inevitably be fulfilled. Still others may believe in a somehow weighted combination of the two ideologies – perhaps I have a destiny, but I am not bound to it; I can change it if I try hard enough.

One of the great Rabbi's during the last century was Rabbi Naphtali Berlin. He authored a number of very important books on Jewish law: “The Netziv”, “Mashiv Hadavar”, and “Shoel Hadavar”. In one of the introductions he shares the following story:

“When I was a young child, I wasn't successful at my studies. My parents and teachers tried relentlessly to motivate me to work harder, but to no avail. Then one evening, after my bed time, I came out of my room and unintentionally ease dropped on my parents conversation. As I listened, I realized that they were discussing taking me out of school and apprenticing me to a tailor. I was so shaken up by what I heard that I ran to my parents and promised to try harder if they would give me just one more chance. 

I often think back to that night and contemplate what would have happened if I didn’t hear my parents that night. I most likely would have become a tailor. Not to say that being a tailor would have been such a bad life. I'm sure I would have been a good, G-d fearing Jew, saying Psalms while I waited for customers to arrive. I would have prayed with a minyan, and contributed to charity. Then, at the end of my life, I would have come to the heavenly court, and they would have asked, "where are all your books?"
“What books?"
"The books you were supposed to write!"
Rabbi Berlin continued, “I came this close to missing it! How ashamed would I have been if I hadn't lived up to my potential!?!”

I believe in destiny. I also believe that it takes a lot of hard work, dedication and prayers to merit fulfilling our destiny.

Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's!
In honor of this special day, I think it's appropriate to spend some time evaluating our roles as fathers. In the Torah, G-d plays the role of a father to his people - at times strict and at times exceedingly merciful. In practical terms, G-d bestows himself upon his people as both, the father and the mother. The feminine characteristics of a mother are manifested via the alias known as "The Shchinah" or "The Divine Presence". All the protective miracles that happened in the desert are atributed to the Shchinah. The clouds of glory, miriams well, the pillar of fire, the protection given by the ark of the covenant, etc. are some other examples of G-ds motherly protection.
So what is the Fathers role? He tried to educate us - to prepare us for life's great challenges and the future we were destined towards. He instilled in us foundations to build upon, to flourish, and grow from. For example, in this last weeks parsha, Hashem tells Moshe to send spies into the land. Why? Why didn't he just do like he did in Egypt? He could have conquered the Caananites on His own and sent us in afterwards. We could have entered Israel surrounded by the clouds of glory. Yet G-d tells Moshe to evaluate the defenses of the inhabitants!?
The message was, "Me and your Mother aren't going to be holding your hand forever, I've given you the tools to succeed (in this case, faith and unity as a people) - now you have to learn to use them." This message came to life with the war against Amalek: it was a baby step as G-d told Moshe that whenever his hands where raised to heaven they would triumph - G-d was still holding their hand. The message of the spies was a step up.
Other times G-d seems almost abusive. Several times he tells Moshe that he's had enough of our insolence and is ready to wipe us out, start over. At these times there seems to be a dual message. A lesson for Moshe, who's playing the role of Mom when dealing with G-d, and a lesson for "the kids". He's waiting for Moshe to protect the people. He wants him to understand that we don't choose our families and we have to stick with them no matter what. Moshe answers G-d in a true motherly fashion: "these are our children, no matter what. If you don't want them then you can forget about me too."
To the nation, G-d has another message: "You can never go back to Egypt. This is your life now. This is your family. I am your father, and there is no other option".
It's written in the Zohar that the community of Israel is called "mother", and G-d is called "father". It goes on to bring a lists of similar relationships where the shchinah manifests as the "mother" and G-d as the"father", the tzadik (rightous leader of the generation) as the "mother" and G-d as the "father", the jewish people as the "mother", and the tzadik -"father".
Each case is relative to their particular relationship. Thus we see Moshe defending the Jewish people in front of G-d and consequentially turning around and scolding them. The relationship had changed.
My teacher and mentor, Rabbi Eliezer Kenig (Hashem should bless him with a long life) once said on this topic: A mothers job is to make her children feel safe at home, to give them the feeling that there is no better family for them in the world, to provide encouragement and support - all while overlooking their shortcomings. Only then can the father fulfill his role as a teacher - to provide them with tools necessary to overcome the challenges of life. Otherwise, at the first sign of admonishment by the father, the children will begin to distance themselves from the home.
So while a father plants seeds in the child in order to prepare them for life on their own, the mother waters those seeds and protects them from the elements while they take root.

Happy Father's Day!

Learning to Internalize

How well do we really internalize what we hear? One of the great chassidic masters, Rabbi Avraham Kalisker, said "When we were by the Magid (referring to Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov's leading deciple who was know as "The Magid of Mezritch" ), we would travel for weeks to spend one shabbos with him, and we would hear one sentence from him. Then we would go home and spend the rest of the year living that one sentance"
We learned on shavuot, that when G-d spoke the ten comandments, our souls left our bodies. The revelation given with each word was so great! Over the generations, the same words have been said over and expounded on by countless teachers. Yet the great revelations that were revealed on Mt Sinai, haven't even barely begun to be tapped into.
Our sages taught that our Holy Torah was the blue brint of creation. Everything is there. All the answers, all the secrets of humanity, science, philosophy, our souls....Everything! It's up to us to look for those answers. When we ask why, we open the door to understanding. It's easy to study a text, and "know" what it says, but to really know, we need to ask ourselves "why does it say?" We need to experience each and every sentence for ourselves and look for the truest meaning behind it.
I bless all of us with a wonderful Shabbos, and the strength to internalize the Torah that we learn, to the depth that it becomes completely one with us.
Shabbat Shalom!

Yehoshua, Kaleb and the great dilema.

In this weeks parsha we read the story of the 12 spies. The nation of Israel is camped out at the Israeli border, then called the land of Caanan. G-d tells Moshe, send spies into the land, send the leaders of every tribe. So Moshe comes to the people and tells them to go in and see what's going on in our new  home. Check out how the inhabitants live, how are their defenses, what is the agriculture like, etc.  And...off they go.
The spies spy, the people wait, and two of the spies, the heroes of our story, sneak off. Why? Well, after noticing a disturbing trend amongst their partners in espionage, they decide to go look for some advice. What they noticed was a lot of complaining. The Torah says that in Hebron their were giants. Children of Goliath's early ancestor. The spies weren't to fond of this discovery, and Yehoshua and Kaleb noticed. So where'd they go? They went to the burial site of our forefather's and mothers, Marat Hamachpelah. There they prayed for advise on how to keep the spies from turning the people against Moshe, once they hear about the giants.
Flash forward. The mission complete the spies return to an anxious crowd, and begin spinning their tale: "That land is full of giants! Everywhere we went, funerals and more funerals! The land swallows up it's inhabitants! We were like grasshoppers in their eyes!"
Enter Yehoshua and Kaleb: They were in a bind. What do you say when your out numbered, when everyone is saying the exact opposite and nobody wants to hear anything else? Even if they had the right words to save the day, who would let them talk? By now the words of the spies had created a near riot amongst the people, and their anger, once again, is aimed at Moshe.
"Why did he bring us here!? We we're how e better off in Egypt! Remember what he did to Korach!? How long will we follow him?"
Then all of Yehoshua and Kaleb's prayers paid off. They had an idea. If you can't beat em'....Join em'.
"That's not all this Moshe did! First he made us leave Egypt! (The crowd quits down, could it be Moshe's prize student has turned on him too?) Then he makes us run for our lives from the greatest army in the world! Until we where stuck between them and the sea!...... Then he split the sea! And drowned that army! Brought us victory over Amalek! Brought the Mann down from heaven! Brought the Torah down from Mt Sinai! And now he's led us to our promised land! Don't fear the inhabitants of this land, they are our Bread! We will swallow THEM! It doesn't matter how big they are, it's not our fight. G-d brought us here, G-d will conquer the land. Don't turn on him now after all the miracles he's shown us!"
Awe inspiring! They did it, they stood up against the whole nation and they where heard. (Let's ignore for the time being that the crowd then tried to stone them, and G-d had to step in.)
In reward for showing true leadership, Yehoshua is given the task of leading the nation into Israel after Moshe passes away. For a true leader, it's not enough to have the right message, he or she also needs to have the wisdom to be heard. Those two things are seldom found together these days. The most important messages are often the ones no one wants to hear. While the best speaker's are rearly saying the whole truth.
Once Rabbi Nachman of Breslov was speaking of the greatness of our father Abraham. How he stood up to the whole world, and declared the unity of one G-d. Even when threatened with death. After Rabbi Nachman was done, one of the listeners sighed and asked in despair, "Where do we have someone like that in our generation?" The Rabbi replied, "YOU could be that person"
We all have the potential to be leaders. The Jewish people were destined to be a light unto the nations. Every one of us. It's dependent on us to be proud of what we have to offer, our personal truths, and the divine truths that G-d has given us. To find the right message and find ways to spread that message using our individual strengths. Even if the whole world doesn't get it ....just yet.